Quotes

Karen called a magic shop looking for the Ventriloquist Doll.
Karen: The guy said his was spoken for.
Mike: Aren't they all?

Before a long field goal attempt.
Ahad: He's going to need a sandwich rocket.

During a commerical for a retirement community.
Dave: Why are the beds so narrow?
Mike: They have to get used to a coffin.

Kelli: "I used to get my elbow stuck in my hair."

From the Wedding

Dave (to Ali): "How can you be warm? You don't have any pants on."

Matt: "Was Dave throwing up in Ali's mouth?"

Dave: "I will accept your invitation." (When our table was invited to go up to get dinner.)

Dave: "I'd be stupid not to." (When the Antie Anne's employee offered the large for only 27 cents more.

Matt: "I can't go out tonight, I got shit to do." (While laying on the couch watching football and not doing homework.)

Matt: "I'm sick, I can't give her what I got."

Janke: "Will you sign my Speedo?" (My idea for when Michael Phelps was here and was going to be autographing stuff.)